I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
