some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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