What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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