His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I could make wine with my vomit
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Mom said you looked used
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
