he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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