i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
