uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
