I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
