I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
