and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
