I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
