Non-Jews are for practice
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
