I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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