So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
