Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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