She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
