i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
