I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
