But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
