I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Enjoy the penises
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
