someone get that fucking seahorse.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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