I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
