Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
