You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
