okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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