She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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