Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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