Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
