i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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