is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
if only i could text you this smell
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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