I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
