Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
