i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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