This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
