i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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