call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
