I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
