this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
