he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
