I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
