JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
