Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
where does the pee come out of this thing
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
