we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
