I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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