Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
