I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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