It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
