Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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