And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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