He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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