Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
